But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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