i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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