I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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