i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize