So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
