Heybabeimwearingurpanties
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize