chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
