Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize