In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
