bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
