I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
