I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
