i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
pray to the hookup gods
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
