Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize