i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
