I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
