the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
