I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
