I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
