Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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