I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
