i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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