The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i drank out of a bidet.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
