ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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