Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
