it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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