your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
