this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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