Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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