did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
