We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
