The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
