Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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