you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
