At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
