i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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