You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize