How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
