Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
