Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize