Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
please come you make the beer taste better
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
