dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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