its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
