butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
