before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
