My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ttyl tear gas
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
