A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
