Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
