Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
