pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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