Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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