can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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