Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
