If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
