let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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