My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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