it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
