you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
