It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize