Moan for me like Helen Keller
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
