you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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