i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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