I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize