you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
