I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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